Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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