we have officially lost it.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
