do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
