lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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