May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize