I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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