all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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