go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i think i just lost a toe
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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