Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
