just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
