He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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