Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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