i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
