Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
