you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
