I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
