Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
