I wish life had little blips of pornography
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
