Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
porn star boner night. come get it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
