just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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