Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
People in love make me want to vomit
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
