I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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