nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
