So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
