Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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