I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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