Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
