I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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