Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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