Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
