I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
