Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
