You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Your cock deserves a montage
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
