that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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