I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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