i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
