Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
