"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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