She's JV to your varsity
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
