and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
