i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
