Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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