I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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