brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
