sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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