you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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