if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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