Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
