They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
