At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
