dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
