I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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